Reaching out and touching lives

Reading the copy at the bottom, you will realise that it is an advertisement for the postal service in Australia.

But I had a different interpretation of the image when I first looked at it.

I thought it was some advertisement for a library or something like that. Like how much impact books and stories can have on us.

And then I thought of how women are somehow just drawn to reading romance novel, chick flicks  etc etc.

I mean, just one morning on the public transport and you would see all kinds of books people are reading. Very often, I realise that the women would be reading some sort of a novel, while the men will be reading newspaper or some guide books (how to be rich etc etc).

The Chinese love novels are the easiest to identify - the cover is usually a illustration of a pretty girl and then some sappy title (爱君无反顾 or 情潦冰心 and the like). Those reading these novels are generally ladies in their 30s to 40s. I think, quite obvious why, as they are probably more well versed in mandarin as compared to those in the 20s, who grew up in a more ang mo environment.

The English love novels are quite easy to identify too - they also have drawings of women in a caricature style or images of women sans the face (like focus on the legs or torso or back or something like that). These days, you also see novels that are made as movies such as Dear John or the Notebook.. And women of all ages read these books. Or at least I have seen women of all race and ages reading them.

I have been downloading several of such novels for free via Stanza and reading them off my ipod touch. It makes me wonder, what is the draw of such stories?

I mean, they are unrealistic, always involving a very pretty woman who seem to also have the best assets with a perfect career, a very handsome but cold man who can resist all other women but not the main character, they have the coolest jobs and it does not hurt that they are somewhat rich  because of some inheritance.

Or, the main character is down and out, she is gorgeous but she has bad luck with men and has a terrible job and then fell in love with her boss while all the time, there is another alpha male who is her best friend and been there for her but she didnt realise it until she is dumped by her boss.

And don’t get me started on those run-away brides.

Ha, yet time and time again, we get hooked.

I think it is because, women like to think that there is such fantasy love in the world. And we would all liked to be swept off our feet by some dashing stranger and spend the rest of our lives in bliss.

In real life, being in love is just being in love. A simple  relationship with another average person and both of you lead an average life. Probably, we all yearn for a little risk and trouble in our lives. Yet, deep in our hearts, we know that we value stability more than anything else.

So, since we can’t have it in real life, those romance novels are the perfect fix.

Men have their porn, women have their romance novels.

This is indeed a balanced world.

Past.Present.Future.

I was reading a group blog that I was part of some years ago and realised how I have forgotten certain things that happened during that period of time. How young we were, the signs of  bigger things to come, the fun we had and the friendship we shared. Forgotten are the times we spent together, the things we did and even those words I typed or comments I made. Reading it now, it just seems like 4 very happy young people living the time of their lives.

Unfortunately, this friendship was not meant to be.

4 people, split 3 ways.

It is always a pity to lose friends, whether to time or to illnesses or just simply because people drift away from each other….

The shameful thing is we will never be able to be such close friends again. The consolation is the blog is still there. No one seems to have thought of deleting it or actually deleted it, although certain contents were long removed. I wonder if this is what is all left of the many years of friendship? Or maybe, it is the best thing to have come out of it and the best residual of the once glory days.

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Recently, the man was clearing his room to make space for a new piece of furniture. While packing, he came across many nostalgic stuff, old letters, autograph books, notes passed in class, old photos, birthday cards and travel mementos. He kept some, threw most of them away.

When he did that, my reaction was-

你舍得啊？！

He calmly answered -

那你能够收多久？

That got me thinking.

I thought about the huge pile of birthday/new year/christmas and all sort of cards that I have kept over the years, the letters from pen pals and friends, the origami stars, birthday cake candles for almost every year since I was 15, silly gifts and mementos……

A lot of stuff!

So I went through some of it one night and decided that maybe I should throw them all away too. No point keeping so many things…

I ended up reading some of the cards and letters.

And I sorted them out into two piles - One for keeping, the other for discarding.

Then I realised, it is a tiring process and I still had so much to go through.

I ended up putting everything back where it belonged and told myself that I would go through them again another day.

改天才收拾。。。

Then I began to think - if I throw all these cards and letters away, what is left to remind me of the past? Memories fade and are not as reliable as solid hard mementos. How can we immortalise these reminders of how we have lived, the people we were once close to and the things we have went through?

A big dilemma!

No, I don’t wanna keep them for me to reminisce the past, I think it is more of keeping them to make my life seem more wholesome - in the sense, all parts of the jigsaw in place.

Silly right?

But I think when the time comes for me to move out, I will go through everything carefully again, keep some close and the rest shall only live in my mind or relive them at that moment and move on.

Besides, I have a great future to look forward to and more mementos to keep from the future, so need to make way!

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Hurr, I have no idea really. Shucks.

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We are engaged. Ha…

A romantic trip to Banyan Tree Bintan, a surprise rain mist spa treatment and a candle night dinner on the beach….I cannot ask for more… Thank you my love, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.

The entrance of the villa to a small patio then another door to the villa.

Words cannot describe how much I appreciate the man for all that he has done to make our proposal so special. The staff at the resort were also very discreet.. They were coming up with all kinds of excuses to speak to the man in private.

First when we arrived for check in, the staff ask him for his credit card pin. I was like ‘huh?’ for a moment, but then I remembered that one of my credit card also requires a pin for certain transaction so I didn’t think much.

The gorgeous room and bed. I like! :)

Then when we are back in the villa, the phone kept ringing… And I thought it was suppose to be a private and discreet resort. Ha. Was a wee bit irritated… The man picked up all the calls diligently and when I asked him about it, he simply said they were trying to promote their spa and dinner packages. And I actually believed him. Ha.

Come to think about it, I was kind of dense not to realise it, but hey, all the better for the surprise to be successful.

View from the villa. Peaceful....

Spa for two... The furnishings are luxurious.

After chilling for a while, we decided to go for a walk around the resort. He called for a buggy and suggested to we go and check out the spa… We were brought to a spa villa instead of the main reception, I thought it was funny but perhaps it was how they do it there. Once inside the villa, the spa therapist came and greeted us with “Good afternoon Mr Lim, your spa treatment for today…..” That was when I turned and looked at the man smiling sheepishly. He had booked a package without my knowledge. Ha… Mission A successful.

I was quite famished after the treatment and decided to go for dinner…. Another buggy came to pick us up from the spa and I thought we were going to the resort restaurant. It was quite a long ride and before I knew it, I saw the hotel sign, which means that we are out of the resort… I looked at the man again and he had that mischievous look on his face… We drove across the golf course and arrive at the beach. That is when I realised that we are having dinner on the beach. There was a nice set up on the beach with a day bed and candle light and white sashes hanging from a frame, very romantic can. Ha. The waves were crashing on the beach and it was windy and all… Lovely! Misson B successful too!

Dinner by the beach. Was a very windy night with lots of stars in the sky

Heh, self portrait is a must...

And then of course, there is the all important Mission C.

Before dinner was served, the man gave me a present - a portable speaker. He plugged it into his iPhone and we played some music… The music playing throughout dinner were all my favourite songs, the sappy, romantic kind and those jazzy, smooth ones…. I was thinking that it was such a coincidence… Ha. Dense me…. He had prepared everything.

After a delicious dinner, he said he had one last surprise for me. Asked me to close my eyes and I felt him getting up from the day bed. I was thinking it must be a gigantic bouquet of flowers. He reappeared by my side and when I opened my eyes, he was standing there with a tray. (Elaine’s mind: More food?!)

Then he knelt down.

And everything became crystal clear.

There was a photo of us in a frame, a beautiful stalk of rose and THE box in a hollow frame.

He asked, I said yes.

And the rest, they say, is history.

Thank you my love. I am indeed blessed to have you.

Success! A sweet proposal by the beach under the stars.. I can't ask for more.

Closer look at the ring - princess cut stone and a milgrain ring...

Perfect fit. The man is good.

No longer alone in this big big world. :)

In all I do, I have always reminded myself to stay grounded and be happy with what I have. And I do have much to be happy about, a caring family, understanding friends, a loving partner, a job and a roof over my head.

But at times, I slipped.

And you cannot help but compare. That makes you kind of depressed and easily irked. And in the process of narrowing the gap between the so called better alternative, you may lose yourself and what you really believe in. But honestly, the gap can only get bigger.

So, from today onwards, my glass is always half full and full of potential.

Half full, not half empty

Me: (talking about shoes and heels and flats whatsoever and how my knee seems to be suffering from rheumatism)

BF: 女人很麻烦。

Me: 麻烦，可是你们爱嘛。。。

BF: (stunned) 当然，超爱！

Hahaha. I think he was coerced into saying it. Wahaha. Didn’t want me to nag further.

Love random moments like these.

I think many girls are guilty of this as well….

Don't kid yourself. Your feet will hurt.

Yes, no matter how comfortable those heels seem at first, they all become your biggest nemesis at the end of the day. Especially so when you have to walk around in them.

The bf  laments that he cannot understand women’s love-hate relationship with our shoes. To be honest, I don’t understand either. Ha. It is like you know for sure those shoes are going to strain your feet after a long day, but you just want to wear them anyway. You would think that we would become smarter the next time round and not wear it again (at least not for long periods), but you’ll be damn - because I would gladly wear them out again and suffer from bruise feet once again.

So I have resort to categorizing my shoes.

Cat 1 - Shoes for everyday wear: Birkenstock slippers, pumps/flats and flip flops

Cat 2 - Fancy shoes, but able to wear for long periods: Kitten heels, one to two inch heels and non-pointed shoes

Cat 3 - Feet killers, wear to sit-down events only and then immediately back home in a taxi: everything pointed, extremely pointed, 3 inches and above.

Sometimes I also dun understand why we women go through such pain to look nice. Sigh.

But hey, give me a pair of Louboutin (like those in the picture above) any day and I will gladly bear with the pain….

And instead of compiling a list from the beginning of the year, I shall write them down as they happen (or never happen). They shall be called Resolessons. Ha. Lame but who cares.

So here goes

Don’t paint my nails before bedtime (Image source: Getty Images)

I do that all the time. It happened again this morning in fact.

I don’t know why but I always seem to have the urge to paint my nails in the middle of the night. And usually 1-2 hours before bedtime. And as all girls should know, nail varnish takes a loooooong time to dry, even the quick drying ones.

But usually at the end of an intensive mani/pedicure session, I would be dead tired and can’t wait for them to dry thoroughly. I mean, I look kind of silly holding my fingers up to the fan also. And so i have to go to bed, when they are kind of dry, at least in my opinion and at least on the surface.

So I go to bed. Trying hard not to squish my fingers. Pulled up my blanket with my finger tips. So far so good.

Then I put my hands flat on my chest and told my fingers,

“Stay there tonight. Don’t move.”

But you know what is going to happen anyway.

Instead of smooth varnished nails, you wake up to bumpy ones, like the texture of a towel. And obviously, you can’t let them see the light of day or be caught with such ‘textured’ nails.

So I sacrificed my morning newspaper reading time to clean them off. You waste your nail polish and your remover and your cotton pads and your sense of smell. The smell of the nail polish remover isn’t the best scent in the morning.

Blame it on my stupidity.

Once again, repeat after me

Don’t paint your nails before bedtime (and ruined them with fabric marks and spend the morning cleaning them off).

Before I go, let’s learn some chinese.

This is hilarious, can!!!!

Mid week mid week mid week mid week!

my year as presented in FB status updates

Proj Bear has since been completed. And the man has bought a frame for me from Ikea. For once I am going display my cross stitch properly.

For the past 8 years, I have been telling myself to complete the pattern every other day but to no avail. Definitely glad that I have managed to follow through my resolution and finished it before 2010.

I think it goes to show, it doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. Things happen, you just have to be patient and do whatever necessary.

This will be my guiding principle for 2010.

Working towards a betttttter future.

Happy New Year!