Random Inscriptions

Finally don on my harry potter look-alike robes today, shook hands with the big guy of NTU, threw my mortar board into the air, jumped around, took a lot of photos, hugged a lot of people and almost cried.

I also - broke a nail, dropped my shoes while jumping, and not to mention, getting my heels stuck in the drain - twice. My innate clumsiness and unglamness didn’t want to miss out on my big day too.

But I am truly glad that I did not slip and fall on stage.

Here’s to all of you:

Thank you Becky for that wonderful speech. You are the coolest valedictorian ever.

Thank you Chang, Chitra, Derrick, Han Joo, Gracia, Sharon and Becky for being such great pals these 4 years. I could not have imagined how it would had been like without you.

Thank you mummy and mei mei for being at the ceremony today. It would not have been possible without your love, patience and support all these years. And to my beloved daddy who would had been there if you could, I miss you.

Thank you Tinghui for being such a great sport and for being my photographer today! You are really really my ‘ichiban tomodachi’. But, you could be upgraded to ‘taihen subarashi’ if you give me my convo gift soon, heh.

A big thank you to everyone who sent your well wishes. I am truly blessed.

And with this I conclude-

I am officially done with my formal education. (:

Photos coming up soon!

I have been keeping a diary, on and off, since I was 12. And one of my favourite past time is reading the really old entries and poking fun at my lousy grammar, bad spelling and my childish ideals or views.

Keeping a blog is slightly different I guess. I obviously cannot write every intimate detail of my life here and risk it being broadcast to the entire world. One thing remains the same, I enjoy looking back at old entries and laugh at myself. Like this entry here back in 2005.

Utterly silly and random but I realise, some things never change.

I still want to visit Greece, Egypt, and London. I still think Daniel Wu is cute. Flying cockroaches are the deadliest things in the world after crows. I never gave up the thought of being a doctor (of some kind) although now I can settle with being a doctor’s wife. I still like those sappy love songs, especially 把你藏起来 although now almost any Jay Chou’s song works for me. There is no way I would ever miss a KTV session and who doesn’t want a fairy godmother?

With the onset of convocation and the beginning of a new chapter in my life, everything old seems so precious, so familiar, so difficult to let go…

And so, I conclude that amnesia and Alzheimer’s are the worst illnesses one can get.

You can put a machine in my heart and make me sit on a wheelchair. I can take medication everyday and make frequent trips to the toilet. But if you ever rob me of my memories, what would make me, me?

I am not a very reflective person.

Most of the time, I just live each day as it is and do not spend much time planning what I want to do or achieve in this lifetime.

So whenever someone ask me what my goal is or what do I want to do in life, I am sad to admit that I really cannot answer that question truthfully or with conviction.

Friends who know me well know that most of the things that happen or major decisions in my life are not due to planning - they happen because of chance or simply because I felt like doing it. I am a super random person I guess. And I have done a lot of things that I am not proud of due to my randomness. My proud and shameful examples of randomness in life so far -

• After PSLE, I decided to apply to my secondary school because my favourite TV serial was filmed there. Hack with getting into a good school and laying a good foundation for the future.
• During Sec 2, I decided that I hate physics. So, I applied to go to the Biology/Chemistry/Food and Nutrition stream for the next 2 years of my studies. When the streaming results were released, I realised that all my current classmates would remain in the same class except me. So I got my mum to meet up with the Vice Principal, okay, correction, my mum sat beside me as I reasoned with the VP why she should transfer me back to my original class. Obviously it didn’t work. But I have to say that it was one of the best thing that could ever happen. Otherwise I would not have met my good friends. (:
• Secondary 3, I decided out of randomness that everyone in the prefectorial board is out to get me when they found out that I was appointed the head prefect. It was like suddenly, I am no longer part of the gang. So I decided to abdicate my role, made a big hoo-haa in the school and I think I made my teacher cried.
• Despite not being a head prefect, I went to the (same) teacher in charge and told her that rostering flag raisers on morning duty at the classroom block is really a bad idea. (Reason being, I was patrolling at the classroom block one morning, something happened in one classroom and I forgot all about my flag raising duty. My fellow flag raiser came and gave me a hell of a time. ) My teacher bought my idea and told me to tell the head prefect and duty roster master about it. I proudly walked into the prefects’ room and did my dues. I think they all hated me. Haha!
• After ‘O’ levels, I decided that I wanted to go to Temasek Polytechnic and only TP. Because all the other polys looked so old, and the fact that only TP had jam and hop parties. I wanted to be associated with hipness.
• I chose to study marketing because - to get into Design school, you need to go for another interview (lazy); to get into Hospitality, you need to go for another interview (i missed that one completely); to get into the mass comm course in TP, your English must be A2 and above (sorry, i only B3, good enough for other polys but not TP); science was all about lab work and IT was simply not for me.

Oh dear, I think I am beginning to sound like a really horrible person.

• After TP, it was time to decide if I wanted work or continue to study. Most of my peers decided to work. So i decided to work too - as a teacher. I went for the interview at MOE, got in but they wanted me to teach CHINESE! Although my Chinese at that point was pretty good, but I cannot imagine being called 林老师 everyday! So I rejected them and went to work part time in a exhibition company.
• So…. I was surfing the net one day and somehow stumbled upon a link for poly grads to apply to local Uni. It was the first time that they were accepting direct entry. And the registration fee was only like $10. I decided that it was like a gamble. So I applied for NTU Comms studies, NTU Business, NUS FASS and NUS Business. And WKWSCI became my home for the next 4 years.
• My initial goal when I got into SCI was to become a big time magazine editor. Ha! I still remember my conversation with the girls where we said we would be glad to just get a job crushing eye shadow and lipstick for beauty products photo shoots. Gosh, that seemed like just yesterday. But somehow, I reeled off the publishing track and majored in PR instead because I decided I cannot write for nuts. But if you think about it, PR also requires writing. Oh never mind.
• 4 years flew by, I have graduated from SCI. I have no idea what to do. But I know that I do not want to be in a PR firm or do corporate comms. So I applied to MOE again. (I can hear people screaming…) And I rejected them again. (I can so hear the screams again…)
• My job search is very random. I have no idea what I want to do and where I want to work in. I look at the job description, if it sounds decent, I apply. And I tell you, I apply for anything and everything.
• The only position that I wanted really badly, I didn’t get it. And I am disappointed. So I have come to the conclusion that the more you want something, the less possibility that you will get it. So just go with the flow. (Wait a minute, haven’t I been going with the flow all these years?!)
• And so after a few months of searching and non-searching, and from being fussy to nonchalant, I have finally got something. Surprise surprise, it has everything to do with my first aspiration when I got into SCI. A slight variation, but nonetheless, associated.

So maybe I am not that random after all. Going with the flow isn’t such a bad thing. The problem is you will take a longer time to find out what you want and get what you want. One whole circle and back to the same point. But honestly, I am not sure where this would lead me to, but quoting from a very old blog entry and from my sister,

“Put on a safety belt and get on with life!”

But, if anyone ask me for advice, I will definitely tell them that planning is the key to achieving. Seriously.

I think I am getting old. Ha!

This must have been the longest entry, ever.

Thinking, pondering, anticipating….

(Part 1)

(Part 2)

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