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Spend most of the time durng the weekend playing rather than studying.. But still as compared to the week before, I have been a real good girl this week. But still, it’s N.G.:NO GOOD.

Did a timeline for September… It’s then that I realise I have so much stuff in arrears.. Or rather I have so much work to do for the month. Gosh. Unbelievable.

Didn’t sleep well last night. Woke up at least 5 times… Why? Pondering about school again. Haiz.. Dun ask.. Losing sleep because of school? That’s really new for me.. Unless we are talking about rushing projects through the night. Normal school days? Never and no way. But now, haiz… Whatever.

More google pics…

Gosh I cannot believe I am writing this again..

I am a true blue female. Fickle minded, fussy and sensitive. Too sensitive in fact.

Why do I always feel so left out in class? Well, sometimes. I feel that I cannot be the real me here in school. I led myself into thinking that I have more or less fitted into the school but I guess I am just fooling myself. Positive visualisation they call it, but I seriously doubt it has any positive impact on my negative soul.

Every morning I wake up, the first thing that come to my mind is how many things I sacrificed to attend Uni, how many other things that I could have done if not for uni and how many things I could have achieved if not for uni. It’s a terrible feeling. I love studying and that’s a fact that I cannot escape from. I have problems to deal with and that’s a even bigger fact that I have to accept. Unfortunately, these two facts cannot live together harmoniously unless I work hard, in all aspects.

I hate to have that foreboding feeling every night before I sleep and once I open my eyes everyday. Such issues have been bothering me for so long. Yet till now I do not have a conclusion to things. Goodness. When will I sort out my thoughts? Honestly, I have to sort them out like now. Honeymoon period in school is over, honeymoon period in my life has long ended. It is time to face up to responsibilities and learn things the hard way.

I want to lose myself in my studies. I want to just study. Why must I bother about other stuff? Why is it that I can do that for so many years but now I have to realise that things aren’t that simple anymore? It’s a terrible feeling. Committments they call it. And I guess I hate it.

Would I be really better off working? Is this where I should be?

School and life is so trumatic for me that I can only seek comfort from close friends during the weekends. It’s the weekend that gives me the motivation to fight my way through the week. It’s during the weekend that I can forget all my worries and live like a care-free soul. It is during the weekend that I can lose myself in endless fun and laughter. Procastination. That’s the word.

Procastinate anymore and I guess I will suffer tremendously.

But that’s what I do best.

I need a plan. Now.

So time files and I am back from bixia’s chalet. Btw hui, I still have not pay you back for the cake. Remind me.. The chalet, like what Lian said only made me think of my earlier teenage years more.. Gosh, time do fly.

Anyway, I guess the older bunch have some fun too. Fun setting up and fun cleaning up and fun catching up a bit. Not to mention catching the shuttle bus to the chalet. Goodness, dun tell anyone but lian and I were like ‘dumbo’ when waiting for the bus. First we saw a green bus and ran towards it, turns out to be a private bus to a private function. Fine… Then we waited and waited, when to get food, came back and waited. This time round we saw another bus across the road that looked like the chalet shuttle bus, so we ran across the road and realise that it goes to Elias Green instead. So fun huh? Running around trying to catch the bus. Thank goodness the third bus we saw is the correct one that brought us to the right place.

Anyway, today’s the Monday and a day I dread the most. Coming back to school after a whole weekend of fun is always difficult.

Anyway, got the book, ‘The Da Vinci Code’. Recommended by my classmates and now I simply cannot tear myself away from the book. Amazingly, it offers more than any suspense thriller does. It tells you history about the lourve, secrets about some catholic cult (or not) and some secret society that really exist in real life. My sister wants to read the book but I think she might be offended by a lot of ‘facts’ (coz i cannot confirm if they are though it is said to be), they are so controversial.. Things that I myself would not have believe at first. I guess I would have to run some searches online to see if such things really exist. When I have the results, I’ll post some stuff here…People, i recommend that you read the book, and if you are religiouly obliged, read it with an open mind…

I guess that’s all for now, need to go home and catch up with my readings. I am so hungry btw.. Need food…

See ya!

As promised, here’s today’s pic from google…

Today started off pretty much like any other day. When I finally reached Boon Lay Mrt station and trying to board 179 to the school, I sort of trip on the steps leading up to the bus. I hit my leg against the step and now I have a huge bruise 30cm from my knee. It is very very very painful. Especially when the fabric of my jeans keeping brushing against it. Gosh. I haven’t had such injuries or bruise for quite some time and mow it happens.

That’s not all. The bell button where I was sitting in the bus was not working as well.. I kept pressing it like 3,4 times and it still did not work. Gosh. I think the guy sitting in front of me must be laughing in his mind. “First this girl fall and then the bell is not working now.” He was practically staring at me. Gosh. It’s either I look good or I look really distrauted from the fall. But thankfully, the bell mounted on the wall behind me worked and at least I did get off at my stop. Goodness gracious me. It is an unlucky day.

Thankfully again, class was good. At least I did not do anything wrong or weird to attract any attention. Everything pass by peacefully.

As for now, I am just passing time before I meet the 3 girls to celebrate Jane’s birthday. Wonder what we are going to do.

My leg still hurts. Hurts even more when I recall that I still have to go for lecture tomorrow morning…