I am amazed at how my mood can change from joyous one moment and depressed the next.
I think I finally understand why Huiz could not forget a particular ‘C’. Well… I myself could not forget what I have once shared with another ‘C’ too. I just cannot let it go. I think I should hate myself for that.
Whenever I see him, my train of thoughts go bizzare. It has been so long, this unfinished business of ours, but I still very uncomfortable and uneasy talking to him. I am totally hopeless…
I have always tell myself that I should just forget about this matter completely. I should just learn to accept the fact that the reality is as real as it is and nothing ever changes just because I hope it will. I should not hold on to something that,that is not worth the wait anymore.
Come to think about it, I am not waiting. I am just contemplating, reflecting, mulling over, whatever… Huiz have told me over and over again that he is a jerk and he is not worth me thinking anymore. Honestly? I tried my best.
However, it just comes to me whenever I see him.. I am such a useless person.
Boy problem. Not exactly.
It is not easy to find someone I like. I have not had this feeling for quite sometime. He was almost my light.. An enlightment that I can still care for someone. I am not positive about the prospect of relationships anymore.
Did I mention that this unfinished business happened more than 2 years ago?